i don't know what to call this entry, so here it is

I think part of being a Christian means surrendering your will.

Last Friday night Michael and I went to see the Batman movie – The Dark Knight. (It was playing at a second run theatre.) I was so impressed with Heath Ledgers ability to act. I think he should get the Oscar. But anyway his character the Joker was a fantastic portrayal of a villain. The Joker is chaotic, without a plan, out to just cause chaos (kind of like most middle school students- just kidding). I’m about to give away the movie, so please stop reading if you don’t want to know… One of the main things the Joker tries to do is to expose people. There is a new District Attorney who is loved by all and is a great public servant proving that he can bring down all of the city scum. The Joker then kills his girlfriend which turns the district attorney into a monster trying to track down anyone who assisted in her killing. The Joker seems to be able to expose anyone, showing that the best people can be still be scum.  

God’s light has always been something that scares me a little bit. God’s light will eventually expose us all which I don’t particularly like because it means that it will expose me to. I guess this movie showed me the difference between the Joker (Satan is referred to the angel of light in the Bible) and God. They both expose people but God does it for good and Satan does it for evil which takes me back to the surrender your will thing. Our will is going to be exposed one day and whether our will is saving sex traffic victims, building our own business, being a CEO of a Fortune 500 country, raising a lot of money or whatever it is (and however good it may sound), it is still our will.

Bono the lead singer in U2 tried to leave the band several years ago. He wanted to follow what he felt was his calling to do- become a pastor. His will became stronger and stronger and he just wanted to leave the band so he could become a pastor. Then one of his mentors said ‘Stop asking God to bless what you’re doing and start doing what God has already blessed.’ I think Bono is one of the most incredible Christians I have ever seen and he is still in the band. His work with red campaign and African orphans is incredible. His will, even though it sounded like a good will, was exposed and when he surrendered it, it was as if he was born again.

I used to figure out a plan and try to executive it, often by suggestive force in my voice. It never worked, not even when my plan was to share Jesus with students or provide service projects for others. Not that these things are bad, there just things like everything else- they must not be forced. A few years ago I surrendered my will in my occupation and I am so much happier today. God has given me a wonderful job, a loving husband, and good friends. I still have to surrender my will – it’s kind of a daily thing, but I no longer feel the pressure to get my will done. I have freedom to surf life and just live. It feels really good and shows me continually how good God is. 

blessed weekend

When I look back at this weekend, I can only think of one word- blessed! Michael and I had been talking for months about this weekend. He had a Saturday work party up at the mountain (on Snoqualmie Pass) and then he trained a chair evac on Sunday. There was also the are ski patrol party on Saturday evening. A big weekend for Michael but I didn’t know if I wanted to go up to the mountain with so much to do at home and not much to do there.

A while ago Michael and I made a decision to do everything that we could together. We grocery shop together, we clean together, we both go the pass when Michael patrols, etc. This past weekend it took some managing to make it come together, but in the end we are very glad that it did and we were both glad that I made it up with him.

On Friday night we grabbed a quick dinner and then drove to Mercer Island where Michael’s parent’s live. We watched two episodes of the Unit that Mike’s dad had recorded for us and hit the bed. Saturday morning Michael woke up early and headed to the mountain. I stayed in bed, slowly got up and then met Kyle and Jenny for lunch in Seattle (it was fun that we were all there for different reasons this weekend). We walked thru Pike Place Market. It was wonderful to be with them. Then I drove up to the mountain and Michael and I went to the ski patrol party. Ski patrollers are fun people. We watched the new reality tv series on ski patrol at Crystal and laughed at how un-real it was. Sunday morning we got up (we had slept overnight at the mountain) and Michael went to train and learn and I hand wrote our Christmas cards. They’re done. YEA!!!!

Both on the way up and on the way down from the pass (it takes about 7 hours round trip) Michael and I had great conversations. We talked about everything the entire ride. It is such a blessing to have a companion, I would recommend marriage to anyone. I love it. The only bummer was that I lost my Tiffany’s bracelet this weekend.

Anyway, our weekend was very blessed with each other and new fun memories and energy to make it thru the new season of continually driving between Vancouver and Snoqualmie Pass. I feel very blessed to have Michael in my life.

Security

I don’t think the government should bailout the auto industry. First of all, a bailout would ignore basic economic supply and demand consequences. People are not buying new cars today because they either cannot afford them or cannot get the financing, either why the demand is down. A bailout would allow the auto industry to continue making hundreds of thousands of more cars, but the demand is down. We are already saturated with lots of new cars. This ignores basic economics. Second, bailing out the auto industry might suggest the government will bailout anyone and many companies could demand a bailout and sue the government for discrimination if they don’t get one. The bailout needs to stop so that we can continue to live in a free market.

I am concerned for our financial future as a nation. Right now our country is running out of credit and low on cash. The banks have white knuckled their grasp on credit and the average consumer stopped, well, being a consumer during the month of October. The government has tried to step in to help, but in a free market there’s only so much government can do (and there’s only so much that we want the government to do because we want the market to remain free). We are in a global recession of some sorts. With DHL announcing its closing all domestic operations and ending 9,500 jobs, and the 3 main United Sates auto industry manufactures crawling around begging for money, it makes one wonder what lies ahead. I heard today an estimation that 500,000 more jobs will be lost in the United States in the next 6 months.

I have often found security in deposits. It seems like having money in the bank and cash on hand would make me feel secure. As if with money, I feel like I can do anything; without money, I feel very limited and occasionally a little anxious. However, and this is really weird part, the times that I have had more money I have been more concerned that I would lose it and the times when I have had less money, I feel that it is only an opportunity to make more money. So when I have less money and I can’t find my security in money because there is no money, I gain wisdom and rely on God and the provisions he has already given me. I stop spending and I start looking for ways to make money and save money. Having less money is always an exciting time in my life because it forces me to survive and when I have to survive, I thrive. I hope that our nation thrives after this difficult financial year ahead. 

This is one of the most fascinating times to live in, in our history. I thank God I am a part of this time in our history and for being my ultimate security.

the president and the president elect

I thought this was a cool picture. I'm interested in Obama, although I didn't vote for him and am very hesitant to give him control of anything let alone everything. I hope the guy can do the job and doesn't have any other agenda than serving the American people. Only time will tell.

OMSI and DoveLewis

Yesterday Michael and I spent the day at OMSI. We saw 3 documentaries (Mummies, Wild Ocean, Cosmic Collisions) and saw the U2 full dome experience. My favorite was the mummies and Michael's favorite was U2. We also loved seeing the LIFE Science Hall. It talks about keeping healthy and how the body is formed throughout life and inside the womb. There's actually real human fetus' throughout the stages of a woman's pregnancy displayed for you to see. It really shows how life starts at conception and the miracle of it all. 

Last night we went to the DoveLewis Soiree. Michael looked great in his new suit (it was just cocktail attire, not black tie) and I dressed up in a black and white dress with red high highs and a large red pearl like neckless. DoveLewis is a critical care animal clinic in NW Portland. They do an amazing job helping animals 24 hours a day. Last night they raised a bucket load of cash, so I am really happy for them. A lot of the animals are strays or owners can't afford the services, so money goes a long ways there.