Thoughts on Dating

I dated on and off until I married at 29 years old. I struggled with it way more than I enjoyed it. My friend Sarah is still in the dating world and I told her that I would blog my thoughts on dating now that I am married. So, Sarah, here is some advice from a girl who often wondered if she would ever get married and wound up with the love of her life.



Have a simple purpose. Honestly, why are you dating? I often dated because it seemed like it was something I was supposed to. Someone was interested in me, he was a nice guy and so we dated. I eventually got tired of dating and gave up dating for about four years. After the four years were over, I started becoming friends with several guys, which led me to becoming friends with Michael whom I ended up marrying. I started to just hang out with guys and developed some friendships, which had nothing to do with trying to discover if they were ‘the one.’ They were just my friends and that’s how I met Michael.



Ride the Wave. Try new things. Go on eHarmony. Read a book on dating (I suggest ‘How to Get a Date Worth Keeping’). Look people (especially hot guys) in the eyes when you talk to them. Don’t be afraid to let someone think that you like him (he might reject you but if he does, move one, there’s someone better). Walk up to guys in public places and start a conversation with them. Get someone’s phone number. Give your phone number out.

Think. Continually use your brain in dating. What looks right maybe wrong. What looks wrong maybe right for only a time period and later will be wrong (what you initially thought). It’s easy to sit back when you are single and make a list of what is right and wrong but when you’re out in the dating world, you need your brain. Think through things and listen to yourself. Here’s an example. I dated this guy in high school for about a year. I didn’t love him. I liked him as a person a lot, but my gut said this is not the right person for you. I stayed with him for a year because my parents loved him, my friends all wanted to date him, he was successful, good looking, from a fantastic family, went to my church, etc. From all accounts, even I thought he was the perfect guy. But I wasn’t into him. It took me almost the whole year to have the courage to do what I knew was right. Nobody agreed with why I broke up with him. It looked so right for us to be together but inside me it was so wrong.

Pray. I don’t know what to specifically suggest in prayer except just to do it. Pray for yourself, those you date and the one you’ll marry.



Read the Bible. The Bible is full of interesting stories about men and women and their relationships. Bathsheba slept with David who then killed her husband and she lost her baby and ended up being his queen. Ruth lost her husband so she laid at the end of the bed of another man, uncovered his feet and he woke up and married her. Mary and Joseph were engaged, then she got pregnant, told her fiancé she was still a virgin, he had a visit by an angel, she gave birth in a barn and then they got married. The Bible is raw, full of life and tells us about God which gives us hope. Rich Mullins said that one doesn’t read the Bible to know how to live, one reads the Bible to know God. I’ve always liked that saying.



Good luck Sarah! I loved having lunch with you. Hopefully I’ll see you again soon.