The why question.

Since Monday, I’ve been thinking about the plane crash at Gearhart. Maybe because the house is three blocks from my bosses. Maybe because I’ve been to Gearhart so many times for an enjoyable, relaxing weekend. Maybe it’s because I can’t understand why this happened. 

A small plane crashed into a home with two families staying in it. The plane seemed to be having trouble and crashed around 6:30 am Monday morning. It exploded shortly after it crashed. A mother with 5 children were inside the house. 3 children died along with the pilot and passenger of the plane. The mother and 2 of the children were sent to Emanuel Burn Center. 

Last October someone accidently rear ended my beautiful Focus and totaled it. I had just a few weeks before that told Michael I was going to keep the car for 10 more years. The accident really shocked me and I couldn’t believe I didn’t have my car anymore. The man who hit me felt horrible. He had a daughter my age and just couldn’t believe that he had hit me. He offered me anything on the scene and called me several times since the accident to check up on me. He was wonderful and I am grateful to have met him. The insurance claimed the accident was his fault and he admitted that in the beginning. He wasn’t an evil man. He was the opposite. It was just one of those things that happened.

My story ends well because I lost something that I could replace. But the people at the beach weren’t as lucky and I am sad for them.

In my wonderings around the why question I have found hope and permission. Hope that there is a good God in this world of chaos and suffering. Permission to grieve and be sad for this family and other families who go thru such incredible sufferings. The Bible talks about a man being born blind not because of any sin but so that the Kingdom of God will be revealed in him. I must admit that if God is taking volunteers for the display of His glory through incidents like this, I am not raising my hand. However, it is the stories that are so tragic that touch us the most. Steven Curtis Chapman is going to be on Good Morning American Wednesday morning. He’s going to be on Larry King on Thursday, August 7^th. He is on the PEOPLE magazine coming to Newstands on August 13^th. I am recording both his interviews. I know they’ll  touch my faith at the core of who I am.

I don’t want these awful things to happen ever again.  The touching stories behind tragedy doesn’t justify the pain that people go thru that are in the middle of it. This is where my thoughts stop (or circle back to the beginning). I just don’t want these things to happen to families, but it just does. I don’t have any conclusion to my thoughts and when I try to find conclusion my mind goes straight to ‘why?’ We have few things in our lives that we’re in control over. Our attitudes. Our faith. Our hope. Our love. But beyond that, it’s complete chaos mixed with so much suffering in the world. So instead of trying to conclude my thoughts, I'm just going to be grateful for today, love my husband, enjoy each moment, and live.