Last night was suppose to be a really easy night. I was coming home from work at 6:00 pm. Michael had his firefighter graduation on 7:30 pm. We had been talking all week about how to make this happen easily for Kaitlyn. I was going to get home, kiss Kaitlyn, give her to Michael and make dinner for both of us. She cried a little while I was making dinner and Michael eventually got her to sleep. We woke her at 6:50 pm to try and give her a little more of her bottle but she didn't want it. She seemed happy from her nap and we put her in the car and drove to the fire station.
As the meeting started at the fire station, Kaitlyn was content, happy and the show of the party. After things got quiet, I thought, this will be easy. Then she farted and pooped really loud. Michael and I looked at each other and then we both smelled the smell only a baby can make. I got the keys, picked her up, along with the diaper bag and took her out to the car to change her, praying that she didn’t go again and spray poop all over the car and me. After her new diaper was on, I thought that I should make her bottle up in the car, so I could bring her back in and feed her which would keep her quiet. I ended up accidently spilling the bottle all over the car and all over her which caused her to start screaming. I had no other formula and now a crying, hungry baby. I decided I better nurse her. She had stopped nursing about 2 weeks ago but I thought she would sure pick it back up in a dire need as a time like this. She didn’t.
After getting my top back together (and hoping I wasn’t flashing any firemen in the process), I rocked Kaitlyn until she was calm. I had no idea how much longer Michael had to be in the meeting and couldn’t figure a way to ask him. (We had left my purse, with my cell phone, at home, thinking that we didn’t need to bring it, that we would have plenty of stuff to carry between the car cat, the camera bag, the boppy, and the diaper bag.) I eventually drug myself back into the meeting, whispering to Michael that I needed to run home to feed the baby and asking him to hand me the car seat at which point Kaitlyn starting crying. She screamed all the way home. I wasn’t sure at which point I would be able to make it back to pick up Michael if ever.
As I was driving, I realized I had no purse and therefore no license, which isn’t that big of deal until I got closer to the house and realized I had no house keys. I looked frantically at the keys Michael had given me, praying that one of them was for the house. One of them was.
I got Kaitlyn inside and she stopped crying, started giggling and was no longer hungry. I put her in her pajamas and asked my mom to watch her while I went back to pick up Michael. My mom came over and Kaitlyn smiled and talked to her.
After getting Michael, I was worried because Kaitlyn’s only pacifier was dirty, so I decided to stop by target and pick up some more. We had a gift card there so it was a good place to shop. I picked out two pacifiers, 3 new bottles and a bottle cleaning brush (something before becoming a parent I swore I’d never need). Since Kaitlyn had stopped nursing, I had to start pumping 8 times a day to keep my milk supply. I asked Michael, in the baby isle at target, what “we” should do… Continue pumping or go to formula only. He looked at me and said he thought pumping might be too hard on me if I have to pump 4 hours a day. I showed him the cost of formula and said I’d like his help with one last shot at pumping. He said he’d help me by feeding Kaitlyn at night, so I could pump and not have to do both. We went to checkout at which point I whipped out my credit card and forgot all about the gift certificate.
After we got home, Michael took Kaitlyn so I could go to bed before 11:00 pm. At 3:00 am, when she was hungry and wanted to eat, I couldn’t bring myself to wake Michael and fed her myself and then pumped, getting back to sleep at 4:30 am.
I LOVE my daughter. She has taught me more about life and more about God than anything else. She teaches me humility and grace, something I needed to learn more of. She’s amazing and the delight of my day. No matter how many days ahead are like yesterday’s, I don’t care, she is worth it to me.
