Andie Petkus Photography took some great maternity photos of us. I love them. If anyone needs a photographer, she is fantastic!! Here are a few of the pictures:
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
what i'm learning thru pregnancy
Pregnancy has been physically difficult for me. Every women experiences pregnancy differently and not every person has been pregnant, so here is what it physically has been for me.
· I have not slept for more than 2 hours at a time since the second week in January. I wake up every two hours because the hip of the side that I am sleeping on is either aching or has fallen asleep. I sleep with 5 pillows every night and each one of them has to be positioned very carefully or I will wake up with severe leg pain. Every two hours I have to turn over which requires me to move every pillow hence waking me completely up. There have been nights when I can’t sleep on my side at all and have to sleep in a sitting up position.
· In the first trimester, I was nauseous everyday and could not stomach most foods. In my second trimester, I was less nauseous but threw up a few times, mostly in the morning and once in my car on the way to work, and I ate everything in sight. In the third trimester, I have thrown up liquids in the morning but am back to being almost constantly nauseous with an almost daily spray of stomach acid (and whatever food I had just eaten) in the back of my throat. Also, I now cannot fit much food into my stomach and therefore am constantly hungry but with the most intense feeling of bloating I have ever known and it’s just weird to be hungry and bloated at the same time.
· None of my clothes fit and because I work in the professional world, I have been embarrassed at times with what I am wearing because my clothes look a little dorky and are either too big or too small. Every piece of my maternity clothing has stains on it; either on the boobs or on the stomach.
· I have been keeping up with most of the house work but there are some nights when I just can’t do it out of sheer exhaustion (I still work 50 hours a week) and feel very discouraged when I have to go to bed with things not done that I feel should have been done that day.
· I have to wear a belly band around my waist and if I forget to put it on in the morning, my lower abdominal muscles feel like they have each been ripped out, typically hurting so bad I walk hunched over. There is constant pressure on my pelvic bones (the doctor says she is in position to come out). This pressure doesn’t really hurt, it’s just pressure that I feel constantly. Occasionally the pressure shifts to my tailbone and then it hurts really bad and I can’t sit down.
I share this with you not to complain but to give you a realistic glimpse of what it has been like for me. I am still debating on whether or not I want to open this blog with something so negative but I think I’m going to keep it as it is. This constant physical pain is always at the front of my mind. I can’t ignore it or get around it, no matter how hard I try. This is what I feel first – the difficulties of pregnancy – so I think I’m going to keep it first on my blog.
So, here is what I keep thinking about in response to the difficulty in pregnancy. There’s several things and I am going to attempt to explain them. They’re not in any particular order, just random floating thoughts as I go thru the day dealing with whatever I am feeling at the time.
· I watched a video on childbirth and pregnancy and they described that most Americans (physicians and the public) view pregnancy as an illness and delivery as surgery. The midwives who were making this video were trying to point out that pregnancy and delivery are spiritual experiences, normal to our race and essential for our survival. Thinking of pregnancy as a spiritual experience was a new concept for me and has really challenged me to think past the frustration with it and look at what God might be trying to do with it. I originally had felt almost certain that I would immediately get an epidural and pain medications once I reached the hospital, but now I am more open to the idea of feeling the experience (at least for a little bit). I have read countless stories of women who have homebirths and then share about the spiritual experience that it was for them. I’m not going to have a homebirth but I am a little jealous of the experience that these women had. Reading their stories has helped me to view delivery a little differently than I had originally.
· I’m not trying to be spiritual or anything but I keep thinking about Jesus’ language when he talks about being born again. Before I became pregnant, I thought that being born again was just becoming a new person- something easy and kinda magical, but there’s this whole process leading up to being born that is not easy and not for the faint of heart. It’s long, difficult and painful to be born, maybe not for the one being born but definitely for the one trying to birth. I think a lot of believers, particularly student ministry leaders, experience unforeseen pain in helping others (usually students) become believers or become born again. The birth is such an exciting time but the time leading up to the birth can be so painful and not many people share all the difficulties that there are before a birth. Don’t get me wrong, some births are easy, but not all are and when the leader or birther is experiencing difficulty, I think that for the student ministry leader the temptation is to give up.
· My friend Carrie asked we what I thought I was learning thru this experience, she asked was there anything that I thought that God might want to tell me. I think that this experience has given me more mercy and patience. I don’t have much mercy but this experience has really blessed me with more mercy and compassion on others and given me patience. I always thought that 9 months was a short time to prepare for a baby, but it feels like this has been the longest 9 months of my life and I’m only 7 months thru it.
· Despite all of the discomfort I still want to have more babies. I know I do. There’s no doubt about that. Especially when I hold my baby girl in my arms, I will know that I want to have more kids. Call me crazy but it’s something that I just know.
· I am so thankful that I will soon become a mom and that I helped make my favorite person in the world, Michael, a dad. We’re sooo excited!!! I truly am thankful for this opportunity.
· I have not slept for more than 2 hours at a time since the second week in January. I wake up every two hours because the hip of the side that I am sleeping on is either aching or has fallen asleep. I sleep with 5 pillows every night and each one of them has to be positioned very carefully or I will wake up with severe leg pain. Every two hours I have to turn over which requires me to move every pillow hence waking me completely up. There have been nights when I can’t sleep on my side at all and have to sleep in a sitting up position.
· In the first trimester, I was nauseous everyday and could not stomach most foods. In my second trimester, I was less nauseous but threw up a few times, mostly in the morning and once in my car on the way to work, and I ate everything in sight. In the third trimester, I have thrown up liquids in the morning but am back to being almost constantly nauseous with an almost daily spray of stomach acid (and whatever food I had just eaten) in the back of my throat. Also, I now cannot fit much food into my stomach and therefore am constantly hungry but with the most intense feeling of bloating I have ever known and it’s just weird to be hungry and bloated at the same time.
· None of my clothes fit and because I work in the professional world, I have been embarrassed at times with what I am wearing because my clothes look a little dorky and are either too big or too small. Every piece of my maternity clothing has stains on it; either on the boobs or on the stomach.
· I have been keeping up with most of the house work but there are some nights when I just can’t do it out of sheer exhaustion (I still work 50 hours a week) and feel very discouraged when I have to go to bed with things not done that I feel should have been done that day.
· I have to wear a belly band around my waist and if I forget to put it on in the morning, my lower abdominal muscles feel like they have each been ripped out, typically hurting so bad I walk hunched over. There is constant pressure on my pelvic bones (the doctor says she is in position to come out). This pressure doesn’t really hurt, it’s just pressure that I feel constantly. Occasionally the pressure shifts to my tailbone and then it hurts really bad and I can’t sit down.
I share this with you not to complain but to give you a realistic glimpse of what it has been like for me. I am still debating on whether or not I want to open this blog with something so negative but I think I’m going to keep it as it is. This constant physical pain is always at the front of my mind. I can’t ignore it or get around it, no matter how hard I try. This is what I feel first – the difficulties of pregnancy – so I think I’m going to keep it first on my blog.
So, here is what I keep thinking about in response to the difficulty in pregnancy. There’s several things and I am going to attempt to explain them. They’re not in any particular order, just random floating thoughts as I go thru the day dealing with whatever I am feeling at the time.
· I watched a video on childbirth and pregnancy and they described that most Americans (physicians and the public) view pregnancy as an illness and delivery as surgery. The midwives who were making this video were trying to point out that pregnancy and delivery are spiritual experiences, normal to our race and essential for our survival. Thinking of pregnancy as a spiritual experience was a new concept for me and has really challenged me to think past the frustration with it and look at what God might be trying to do with it. I originally had felt almost certain that I would immediately get an epidural and pain medications once I reached the hospital, but now I am more open to the idea of feeling the experience (at least for a little bit). I have read countless stories of women who have homebirths and then share about the spiritual experience that it was for them. I’m not going to have a homebirth but I am a little jealous of the experience that these women had. Reading their stories has helped me to view delivery a little differently than I had originally.
· I’m not trying to be spiritual or anything but I keep thinking about Jesus’ language when he talks about being born again. Before I became pregnant, I thought that being born again was just becoming a new person- something easy and kinda magical, but there’s this whole process leading up to being born that is not easy and not for the faint of heart. It’s long, difficult and painful to be born, maybe not for the one being born but definitely for the one trying to birth. I think a lot of believers, particularly student ministry leaders, experience unforeseen pain in helping others (usually students) become believers or become born again. The birth is such an exciting time but the time leading up to the birth can be so painful and not many people share all the difficulties that there are before a birth. Don’t get me wrong, some births are easy, but not all are and when the leader or birther is experiencing difficulty, I think that for the student ministry leader the temptation is to give up.
· My friend Carrie asked we what I thought I was learning thru this experience, she asked was there anything that I thought that God might want to tell me. I think that this experience has given me more mercy and patience. I don’t have much mercy but this experience has really blessed me with more mercy and compassion on others and given me patience. I always thought that 9 months was a short time to prepare for a baby, but it feels like this has been the longest 9 months of my life and I’m only 7 months thru it.
· Despite all of the discomfort I still want to have more babies. I know I do. There’s no doubt about that. Especially when I hold my baby girl in my arms, I will know that I want to have more kids. Call me crazy but it’s something that I just know.
· I am so thankful that I will soon become a mom and that I helped make my favorite person in the world, Michael, a dad. We’re sooo excited!!! I truly am thankful for this opportunity.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Our Baby!!!!!
The cool thing about having a high risk pregnancy is that you get a lot of ultra sounds. Too bad insurance doesn't feel that they need to pay for all of them. O well - We LOVE our pictures of our little baby girl!!!
Hands and Stuff
Little face :)
Sleeping Beauty
This is one of my favorites.
Scratching her forehead with her foot.
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