Once one gets married, the next question is, 'so when are you going to have a baby?' It seems that everyone asks me that and I have to admit, I ask myself that everyday. How do I determine when the right time is? I can look at my finances and talk with others and pray, but after all of that, how do I know? And if I determine that this particular month is going to be the right time for me, what if at that time I can't get pregnant?
I don't know how to determine it. I do know that I feel like preventing pregnancy is not for me, not that I want to have a child each month until I go into menopause. It's just that who am I to determine when is the best time? I am healthy. I am married. My husband and I want lots of children. We are financially stable. We even have children's room in our house full of toys with bunk beds. And when I think about all of this, I think, yes I am ready and then comes in the questions like- how will I keep a full time job and have young children? Is that right for my family? For my husband and I?
I think about this a lot. I don't have an answer. I just am hoping to have faith about it. When I speak to older people, it seems the greatest joy for each older person (or the greatest pain) is their children. Life is all about family.
My life right now is all about my husband. I can only imagine that having children will be the greatest experience in life and it is something that I must give over to God. There's too many questions that I will not be able to answer and to many concerns that cannot be guaranteed. I am going to continue to think about it and continue to pray.
